Undoubtedly, a day will come when you will look in the mirror and become tempted to dislike the reflection staring back at you. Whether you discover features you wish were different on your own, or you have people point them out to you, it’s easy to wish things were different. I know it all too well, staring into the mirror and nitpicking every minute detail of my face and body, it’s enough to drive you mad. At the very least, you’ll build resentment against yourself and trick your mind into believing that you’re not good enough. Your eyes will lie to you, and you’ll convince your brain to believe those lies and soon your heart will buy into this negative way of thinking and you’ll find yourself on a roller coaster, almost free falling into a pit of self hatred.
Before you get started down that path, let me stop you. These are all lies, every one of them, and they are fed to you by satan to convince you into believing you’re not good enough. If he can get you to doubt your beauty, it will filter into every other area of your life. It starts with a mild dislike for one particular feature and it seems innocent enough. But if you begin to doubt your beauty, you’ll soon begin to doubt your intelligence and abilities and before long you may find yourself dependent on a guy who treats you like property because you think you can’t do any better. Doubting yourself will also cause you to forget your dreams. All of those things you wanted to do as a little girl, running around in your princess dress until the hem unraveled, you’ll forget them if you don’t believe in yourself.
I know it sounds silly to pin so much on poor self esteem or a bad self image, but it’s true. I’ve been there. I listened to the negative voices in my life when I was a young teenage girl who told me I wasn’t pretty enough or skinny enough. I was told repeatedly that I was fat until I started to believe it, and that’s what I became. I wasn’t fat when I was 12 years old, not even when I was 16 years old! I developed a woman’s body before other girls my age, and that was seen in a negative light to some around me. There was no one to tell me differently and so I believed the lies and it became a self fulfilling prophecy.
My dear daughter, please understand your beauty, both inside and out. If you’re like your mother, your body will start to grow and change in your early teenage years, maybe a little before. Clothes will fit differently, boys will start to notice and you’ll feel strange because your t-shirt doesn’t lay flat on your chest like it used to. My sweetheart, this is all ok. I know it feels weird, but your beautiful and please don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. I know it’s hard to grow up faster than everyone else, and although it seems like the biggest deal in the world right now, it will pass as quickly as it came. And unlike me, you’ve got a mother here who will walk you through it every step of the way. It may not be the “cool” thing to talk to your mom about these things, but please remember how much I love you and I’ve been there too. I remember it like it was yesterday.
Most importantly, never let anyone or anything cause you to doubt yourself. Whether you’re a size 2 or a 12, you are gorgeous. In this entire world, there is only one you. You are unique, with every ringlet curl, your big brown eyes and your dimples that shine when you smile. Most importantly my sweet girl, you have a wonderful heart. Love radiates from you, people feel better just being around you. No matter how bad of a day I’m having, you’ve always been able to put a smile on my face. Your spirit is beautiful beyond words. If anyone in your life ever tells you otherwise, please do not believe them. Do not let your spirit be crushed by haters who feel so badly about themselves that they want to rob you of your joy, happiness and humor just because they are miserable in their own lives. No matter what anyone says, you should always be you. Be strong in the woman that you’re becoming. Stand your ground, stick to your beliefs and never change who you are for anyone.
I love you, sweet girl. I want you to grow up with a confidence that I never had. I bought into the lies. I listened to the haters. I shut down and built a wall around myself to shield my heart from pain, although I was already damaged. I couldn’t heal until those walls started coming down. At 32 years of age, I’m just now finding my strength, learning it’s ok to be myself. Although you have to find your own way, I hope you’ll learn from some of my mistakes and let me guide you. I saw more confidence in you at 2 years of age, than I probably had at age 20. Keep it up sweetie, you will do great things in your life if you’ll just keep believing in yourself.